My father ruined my model railway layout and repetitively does so

[Arjun-365760]

I really need ways to convince my father that a one hundred pound layout is not a toy. I've explained nicely to at least put tracks back together if he ruins it but he never listens. He doesn't care. My mother doesn't care either. Is there a specific way you modellers use to get people to stop ruining your layout. An example of one of the things he did was change my layout completely for an absolutely absurd reason which he did not state at all. I know I'm probably entitled but it's really annoying working on a model railway layout and then having it ruined. My model railway layout runs on a carpet because I'm too poor to buy a baseboard (I'm twelve years old). My father cuts it out by giving sarcastic apologies and not helping at all. I know I sound entitled and I'm sorry but I need a way to get him off my tracks. He never even told me when he ruined my layout.

[ModelerXYZ]

Hi Arjun,

What does your dad do in his free time?

Everyone has something that is apparently not a toy but is a toy. Mine is my model railway, some people have classic cars, some people have all manner of other things that are important to them. Your railway is your hobby. I was very fortunate that my dad built me a baseboard for my layout, in fact he wouldn't let me use the trains until it was on a baseboard. These days I live alone, so my railway is mine and as its on a board and takes up nearly half my lounge room, no-one can damage it. A baseboard is essential, it gives a defined edge to the model world. Try speaking to him positively. Does he enjoy model trains as well? it may be that he thinks he is helping by rearranging things, have a chat and see if you can work out a solution together. If you get some money for your birthday or something like that, see if you can get a baseboard. If its kept on a floor (no legs) it doesn't need the bracing that a normal board needs.

XYZ

[508006]

Back in 1999 ( a good number of years I know ) I found out that my mum and dad had a few pieces of board mainly used for kitchen units / cupboards available, the boards were never likely to be used so I took them home to my flat and began laying my track down on those boards.

I had previously purchased a few packs of track tacks so once the boards were set out the way I needed them to be, I set about fixing it to the boards. My railway was set up around my living at the time.

More recently I found some boards from a few old wardrobes which were just varnished ( these boards are much better than the boards used for kitchen units ) because they don't have the brown or white plastic covering on them and are much easier to tack the track onto.

Depending on how much space you have available it might be worth looking around for a few old varnished wardrobe boards in skips and asking if you can have them. The average length of my boards is 6 foot by roughly 18 inches.

The good thing with individual boards is that you can seperate them and put them away in a safe area of your choosing and a tip here, if you do use these kind of boards, make sure your track joints are at the edge of the boards because that way, all you have to do is bring the boards together, connect your controller and once everything is set up away you go. Also it means you can sit in the middle while you run your layout.

The other thing aswell is whether you want a semi permanent or permanent set up again depending on how much space you have available.

Hope this helps and if you have any further questions please don't hesitate to ask, we're always here to help.

[ellocoloco]

Don't worry Arjun. I've been ruining my 16yr old's life for a while now - or so he keeps telling me.

I remember my wife helping me 'put away my trains' and almost having a stroke when I saw how she separated the lengths of track. The only solution I have come to is patience and education, about how the model works and what it means to me. Door locks also help!

[96RAF]

If you can scrounge a piece of board that would slide under your bed it would be out of his sight and so out of mind.

Is there a model railway club nearby where you could arrange to keep your set. They may even have spare bits of board they would let you have.

[Arjun-365760]

Hello,

My dad goes to the gym in his free time to answer your question.

To reply to your statement, my dad ruined my layout by separating track and not putting it back and sometimes damaging the rolling stock too without apologising. The reason he rearranged my track was because he probably made a mistake. I got a sarcastic apology from him. I'm trying to earn money for a baseboard but even my unempathetic mother agrees that he made a mistake because of his carelessness. He has no interest in model railways at all and that's for sure.

Yours,

Arjun

[Arjun-365760]

Hello,

Thank you for your reply. I will definitely consider getting baseboards like these.

I believe that they are actually in my price range!

Yours,

Arjun

[Arjun-365760]

Haha! Model railways can definitely cause some chaos!

My father never helps me do any of the sort and literally puts his feet on the track. This is unethical because he does damage the model train itself and always says he didn't do it. I don't know how on earth he changed my layout completely from a layout with two stations and two depots do a completely different oval but he certainly does not care about my happiness. I will consider getting door locks!

Yours,

Arjun

[What About The Bee]

Hello Arjun

Welcome back.

You said two things which stand out to me.

1) your track is laid out on the carpet

2) your Father steps on the track

This leads me to believe that your layout is in a common area of your home. That is, your layout is in a shared space. A space that others ( Mother and Father) also generally use.

Being considerate of others, having empathy for others, is a hallmark of maturity. You see the world through the eyes of another.

So ask yourself these questions (a) what does Mother see and how does my layout impact her? (b) what does Father see (apparently not your track) and how does my layout affect him?

The reason there were so many suggestions for boards, and being able to put them away, is so that you can show consideration of others. I second this. Your layout is on the floor, possibly in the way of others.

Bee

[Arjun-365760]

My layout is laid on a part of the house which is not even used a lot by my family. It's in a very safe spot. My layout is built in a way so that driving trains is still fun and that people can cross it safely. It's a single track line with tons of space to get around. When I came back from Delhi and saw that it was COMPLETELY REARRANGED, I was devastated. Earlier, he just separated track.

[Arjun-365760]

And here are the answers to your question

1. It doesn't affect my mother a lot. Just two sections of track to step over.
2. It doesn't affect my dad a lot either. My mother manages to step over track without damaging it effortlessly. I'll try to get a baseboard and get the money

I'm so close to quitting model railways :(

[Tony57]

Hi Arjan

I would not quit these things are sent to try us, try sharing the same amount of space with two brothers and two sisters, just take your time Rome was not built in one day.

This great hobby is one big learning curve I am still learning after 45 years doing this hobby.

[What About The Bee]

Hello Arjun

You mentioned your return from "Delhi". Since I cannot know, I will ask politely:

Do you live in India?

If you do live in India, then I will retract my comment. My comment does not account for your culture, or the family structure of your culture. I am in the USA, and any advice I may offer is based on that.

I have met many Engineers from India, but only in a business setting, which will not be applicable to your situation.

Bee

[81F]

I hate to say it, I had the same problem until I eventually moved out! and even then my wife and a friend of hers decided to tidy up the spare room to provide a convalescence are after I had surgery just put a dismantled Dapol Castle (awaiting a DCC chip and managed to loose some vital screws.

[Arjun-365760]

Hello,

I agree with your point and will certainly change my view. I think this refreshing mindset will benefit me in a variety of ways. Thanks for bringing it up.

Yours,

Arjun

[Arjun-365760]

Hello,

I am Indian and am from India but live in London. I occasionally go to Delhi to check up on my grandparents and spend time with them and go back for school.

Yours,

Arjun

[What About The Bee]

Hello Arjun

I have been giving more thought to your situation.  

Consider this: The Captain of a ship is in command of that ship. What happens when the Admiral is on board? The Captain is still in charge of the ship, but he must obey the Admiral.

Like you, I do not have a permanent layout. I set up my track on a table and I command my trains. I am the Captain of my layout. Oh the fun that I have, as I dream of the Liverpool and Manchester Railway.

And then along comes SWMBO (She who must be obeyed). The Admiral, otherwise known as my wife. The Admiral says she needs that table to do her chores.  

"15 more minutes?" - Captain 

"Yes, but that is it" - Admiral

And then I carefully pack everything away.  

I would really like a permanent layout in a room. I have plans and ambition! But I must contend with the Admiral.

Very few people are in command of every aspect of their lives. There is always another with more power. There is always compromise and rules.  

Conclusion: Learn how to deal with a person who has more power. A son will not have more power than his father, until much, much later in life. Until then, the son must negotiate for privilege.

Bee

[96RAF]

Arjun

Going back to the ‘drawing’ board.

By moving the layout from the floor onto a suitable board you essentially draw a line round it say - unspoken that line says ‘it is mine, so leave it alone’. Psychology at work.

Also by laying track on a board and making it permanent, you can build upon it with scenics, etc but in such a way that it can be safely put away after use - say leant against a wall or better still if it can slid under a bed. Out of the Admiral’s sight - out of the Admiral’s mind.

There is more than one way to skin a cat as we say in UK.

Best of luck as you work round your problem.

[Arjun-365760]

Hello,

Yes, I am actively saving up for a baseboard for my model railway and because of working extra hard on my holiday, I earned £200 for doing lots of tasks. With that, I should be able to purchase it. I have the baseboard problem almost out of the way. Now a problem which I'm working on is restoring my original layout to the state it was before which I believe I'm doing a fairly decent job on. It's estimated that a few more days of work and my lovely layout will be back to normal so that I can resume my fun! :))

[Arjun-365760]

Hello again!

I've given thought to your situation and have considered it a lot! I do agree with the conclusion - get a baseboard. This will indeed allow me to keep my layout in a much safer state and let me expand! I actually have the privilege of being able to have a consistent place for my layout and very much appreciate it! As I said before, I have enough money to get a baseboard and am happy! However, writing a similar response made me think of one problem - my parents don't allow me to spend more money on stuff like this, so well, back to getting my layout ruined.

There still is hope though.

Yours,

Arjun

[Ducking Giraffe]

Hi Arjun

I've got a free baseboard and trackmat looking for a good home, but I'm out between Reading and High Wycombe. I can deliver Reading, High wycombe or Bracknell. Its trackmat sized so about 5ft x 3ft. Any use?

steve